Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Life Of Brian
Monty Python was a name that all through the 1970s would have children and adults alike shouting "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition", "Spam spam spam spam", and many more, but in 1979, the Python team released a film that would have us all saying "He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!" and that film was 'Life Of Brian'.
Considered by most to be the greatest of the four Python movies, and in 2006's '50 Greatest Comedy Films' on Channel 4, it was awarded top spot.
The film tells the story of Brian, born in a stable in Bethlehem, who is mistaken for the Messiah. During his life, he falls in love, gets involved with a group of terrorists, paints 'Romans go home' on the walls of Pontius Pilate's palace, and is eventually crucified with a group of criminals, who end the film singing 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'.
The thing is, the plot is not the point. Life of Brian is actually nicely researched film that chronicles a dirty, miserable, oppressive time when people were ready to worship a shoe if they thought it would get them a better deal in the afterlife. It sends up the ponderous Biblical epics of the 1950s and 60s, along with the whole of Judeo-Christian history. Of course, this led to the Church condemning the film, and some areas banning it entirely. This only led to a rise in its popularity, as it often does when something in the media is considered controversial, in fact, Sweden advertised it as "The film that is so funny that it was banned in Norway!"
So, as long as you're not easily offended, please give this film a chance if you haven't done so already. It will not disappoint.
VERDICT - ALRIGHT, I AM THE MESSIAH! NOW FUCK OFF!
Considered by most to be the greatest of the four Python movies, and in 2006's '50 Greatest Comedy Films' on Channel 4, it was awarded top spot.
The film tells the story of Brian, born in a stable in Bethlehem, who is mistaken for the Messiah. During his life, he falls in love, gets involved with a group of terrorists, paints 'Romans go home' on the walls of Pontius Pilate's palace, and is eventually crucified with a group of criminals, who end the film singing 'Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life'.
The thing is, the plot is not the point. Life of Brian is actually nicely researched film that chronicles a dirty, miserable, oppressive time when people were ready to worship a shoe if they thought it would get them a better deal in the afterlife. It sends up the ponderous Biblical epics of the 1950s and 60s, along with the whole of Judeo-Christian history. Of course, this led to the Church condemning the film, and some areas banning it entirely. This only led to a rise in its popularity, as it often does when something in the media is considered controversial, in fact, Sweden advertised it as "The film that is so funny that it was banned in Norway!"
So, as long as you're not easily offended, please give this film a chance if you haven't done so already. It will not disappoint.
VERDICT - ALRIGHT, I AM THE MESSIAH! NOW FUCK OFF!
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Friday, 27 March 2009
Scarface
In 1983, eleven years after finding fame as Michael Corleone in 'The Godfather', Al Pacino was becoming one of the most recognised film stars in Hollywood. He was receiving roles in all the big films of the time, but was remaining fairly picky about which ones he took. Oliver Stone offered him a role in his remake of a 1932 film classic. Stone's film became a classic in its own right, and that film was 'Scarface'.
The movie tells the story of Tony Montana, a Cuban 'political refugee' who moves to Miami, with plans to becoming the leader of a drug empire. Along the way, he loses a lot of people he loves, and succumbs to greed. He learns that crime really doesn't pay in the long run.
'Scarface' received 3 Golden Globe nominations, appears in the IMDB top 250 films, is ranked as the tenth best gangster film by the AFI (American Film Institute)
The film has been called a classic, terrific, "the movie every guy must see". And what word do I award it?
Over-rated.
The plot is all-over-the-place, not a single one of the characters is likeable, they are all two-dimensional, Pacino's character is ridiculous to the point of laughable, and, to be honest, the film is just not that good.
Yes, there are lots of men out there who are yelling at me right now, but they are the same men who like films with Jason Statham in them, films about motor racing, and films with no plot, but plenty of tits.
This film is NOT for people who want to see an intelligent gangster film. Stick with 'The Godfather' for that, or, better yet, the original 1932 'Scarface'
VERDICT - DON'T TOOT YOUR HORN HONEY, YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD.
The movie tells the story of Tony Montana, a Cuban 'political refugee' who moves to Miami, with plans to becoming the leader of a drug empire. Along the way, he loses a lot of people he loves, and succumbs to greed. He learns that crime really doesn't pay in the long run.
'Scarface' received 3 Golden Globe nominations, appears in the IMDB top 250 films, is ranked as the tenth best gangster film by the AFI (American Film Institute)
The film has been called a classic, terrific, "the movie every guy must see". And what word do I award it?
Over-rated.
The plot is all-over-the-place, not a single one of the characters is likeable, they are all two-dimensional, Pacino's character is ridiculous to the point of laughable, and, to be honest, the film is just not that good.
Yes, there are lots of men out there who are yelling at me right now, but they are the same men who like films with Jason Statham in them, films about motor racing, and films with no plot, but plenty of tits.
This film is NOT for people who want to see an intelligent gangster film. Stick with 'The Godfather' for that, or, better yet, the original 1932 'Scarface'
VERDICT - DON'T TOOT YOUR HORN HONEY, YOU'RE NOT THAT GOOD.
Thursday, 19 March 2009
Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory
"A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men."
Everything that Roald Dahl wrote was complete and utter nonsense. But what incredible, beautiful, bizarre, fantastical nonsense to grow up reading, and having read to you!
Charlie and the Chocolate factory was, without a doubt, my favourite book as a child, and remains very high up on my list. 'Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory' was, although not completely true to the book, still very 'Dahlian', after all, Dahl wrote the screenplay as well.
In the film, Willy Wonka runs a chocolate factory. His ideas were of a genius never seen before, and so people tried to copy them. Wonka was infuriated, and so shut down the factory. Now, decades later, Wonka is reopening his factory, and allowing five people inside to see the magic, if they are lucky enough to find a golden ticket.
This film is dark. As a child, there were scenes in it that genuinely freaked me out. Dahl's stories often have a surreal edge to them, and this has been kept in the film. Any children's film that shows the decapitation of a live chicken clearly has guts to go aganst convention.
It is very hard to find fault with this film, and so I must direct you to a peice of trivia. How much better would the film be if Willy Wonka had been played by Roald Dahl's first choice for the role? Who was that? Spike Milligan.
VERDICT - IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME, THEY ALL BECOME BLUEBERRIES.
Everything that Roald Dahl wrote was complete and utter nonsense. But what incredible, beautiful, bizarre, fantastical nonsense to grow up reading, and having read to you!
Charlie and the Chocolate factory was, without a doubt, my favourite book as a child, and remains very high up on my list. 'Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory' was, although not completely true to the book, still very 'Dahlian', after all, Dahl wrote the screenplay as well.
In the film, Willy Wonka runs a chocolate factory. His ideas were of a genius never seen before, and so people tried to copy them. Wonka was infuriated, and so shut down the factory. Now, decades later, Wonka is reopening his factory, and allowing five people inside to see the magic, if they are lucky enough to find a golden ticket.
This film is dark. As a child, there were scenes in it that genuinely freaked me out. Dahl's stories often have a surreal edge to them, and this has been kept in the film. Any children's film that shows the decapitation of a live chicken clearly has guts to go aganst convention.
It is very hard to find fault with this film, and so I must direct you to a peice of trivia. How much better would the film be if Willy Wonka had been played by Roald Dahl's first choice for the role? Who was that? Spike Milligan.
VERDICT - IT HAPPENS EVERY TIME, THEY ALL BECOME BLUEBERRIES.
Wednesday, 18 March 2009
Ed Wood
"My friends, can your heart stand the shocking facts about grave-robbers from outer space?" Ed Wood, 1958.
Edward D Wood JR was the worst director of all time. I am not exaggerating that, or being blazé, he was actually voted the worst by a jury of his peers.
He created films about transvestism, alien plans to make people rise from their graves, more transvestism, naked vampires, and transvestism. Since the mid-1980s, his films have gained a huge cult following, especially 'Plan 9 From Outer Space', but there is no denying that this is because they are well and truly awful.
'Plan 9 From Outer Space' (1959) Trailer
As a truly cult director of strange creepy films, who better to direct his biopic than Tim Burton? He did just this in 1994, with the film 'Ed Wood'.
The film (shot entirely in black and white) tells the story of Ed Wood, from the first script he writes, to the release of his 'best' film, 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'.
The first film Wood made was 'Glen or Glenda', a film based on his real-life struggle with transvestism, which he had been involved in since childhood, even admitting that, during the Second World War, he had parachuted into action wearing women's underwear beneath his uniform.
Tim Burton was incredibly brave to film entirely in black and white, but it worked perfectly. It had the B-Movie feel that Wood movies all had, and despite having millions of dollars spent on it, winning dozens of awards in the process, it feels like a very quaint small movie.
The film contains just the right amount of comedy, while still remaining quite moving in places, and staying true to Wood's life. Of course, it has the 'Burtonesque' feel about it, but, with this subject matter, it works.
VERDICT - CUT! THAT WAS PERFECT!
Edward D Wood JR was the worst director of all time. I am not exaggerating that, or being blazé, he was actually voted the worst by a jury of his peers.
He created films about transvestism, alien plans to make people rise from their graves, more transvestism, naked vampires, and transvestism. Since the mid-1980s, his films have gained a huge cult following, especially 'Plan 9 From Outer Space', but there is no denying that this is because they are well and truly awful.
'Plan 9 From Outer Space' (1959) Trailer
As a truly cult director of strange creepy films, who better to direct his biopic than Tim Burton? He did just this in 1994, with the film 'Ed Wood'.
The film (shot entirely in black and white) tells the story of Ed Wood, from the first script he writes, to the release of his 'best' film, 'Plan 9 From Outer Space'.
The first film Wood made was 'Glen or Glenda', a film based on his real-life struggle with transvestism, which he had been involved in since childhood, even admitting that, during the Second World War, he had parachuted into action wearing women's underwear beneath his uniform.
Tim Burton was incredibly brave to film entirely in black and white, but it worked perfectly. It had the B-Movie feel that Wood movies all had, and despite having millions of dollars spent on it, winning dozens of awards in the process, it feels like a very quaint small movie.
The film contains just the right amount of comedy, while still remaining quite moving in places, and staying true to Wood's life. Of course, it has the 'Burtonesque' feel about it, but, with this subject matter, it works.
VERDICT - CUT! THAT WAS PERFECT!
Finding Nemo
Disney have always ruled the market in children's films. People of all ages define their childhoods by what films they remember. My parents remember films like 'Jungle Book'. A friend's father told me about being introduced to jazz from seeing 'The Aristocats'.
Personally I think I grew up at the best time for Disney movies, my memories lined with screenshots from 'The Little Mermaid', 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Aladdin', but I am sure that you always think YOUR youth had the best films to grow up with.
It is sad to think that my children won't see any new hand-drawn and coloured cartoons from Disney, but they will have a hell of a replacement with the films of Pixar.
In 1995, Pixar made the first computer-animated feature film ever, 'Toy Story', and it was a hit of epic proportions. Since then, they have become more efficient, and bring out one film a year, compared to one every two and three, that have consistently topped the box office, and taken more money than any other animated film (and often any film at all) that year.
In 2003, Pixar raised the bar for all future animations with the excellent 'Finding Nemo'.
In the film, a fish named Marlin (voiced perfectly by Al Brooks) loses his son Nemo, who he has brought up alone after his wife and other eggs are eaten by a barracuda.
Marlin, with the help of a friendly but dim-witted friend Dory, explore the entire ocean to find Nemo (now you know where the title comes from), along the way meeting sharks, jellyfish, a hippy turtle, and many other cameos played by unbeleivably famous people in parts with just a handful of lines.
Of course, being a Disney film, it all turns out okay. Marlin finds Nemo and they save the day, by freeing some fish from a net.
The film is about as good as a children's film gets. It has so many jokes delivered with perfect timing, for kids and adults, and it has plenty of important lessons to teach children without being patronising.
If you haven't seen it (and I don't know how you could have managed not to) then please do. It will make you very happy.
VERDICT - GRAB A SHELL DUDE!
Personally I think I grew up at the best time for Disney movies, my memories lined with screenshots from 'The Little Mermaid', 'Beauty and the Beast' and 'Aladdin', but I am sure that you always think YOUR youth had the best films to grow up with.
It is sad to think that my children won't see any new hand-drawn and coloured cartoons from Disney, but they will have a hell of a replacement with the films of Pixar.
In 1995, Pixar made the first computer-animated feature film ever, 'Toy Story', and it was a hit of epic proportions. Since then, they have become more efficient, and bring out one film a year, compared to one every two and three, that have consistently topped the box office, and taken more money than any other animated film (and often any film at all) that year.
In 2003, Pixar raised the bar for all future animations with the excellent 'Finding Nemo'.
In the film, a fish named Marlin (voiced perfectly by Al Brooks) loses his son Nemo, who he has brought up alone after his wife and other eggs are eaten by a barracuda.
Marlin, with the help of a friendly but dim-witted friend Dory, explore the entire ocean to find Nemo (now you know where the title comes from), along the way meeting sharks, jellyfish, a hippy turtle, and many other cameos played by unbeleivably famous people in parts with just a handful of lines.
Of course, being a Disney film, it all turns out okay. Marlin finds Nemo and they save the day, by freeing some fish from a net.
The film is about as good as a children's film gets. It has so many jokes delivered with perfect timing, for kids and adults, and it has plenty of important lessons to teach children without being patronising.
If you haven't seen it (and I don't know how you could have managed not to) then please do. It will make you very happy.
VERDICT - GRAB A SHELL DUDE!
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Die Hard
Well, here we are people, our last review of the 24 hour film-fest. I know many people will be thinking "hang on, this is being posted at like, 10, 10.30, that' only 22 hours!" This is because the site saves the time I STARTED the review, and so the actual film and review ends at around Midday.
Anyway, on with the review. It's 1989, and all the kids in the playground are yelling 'Yippie Kiy Yay!'. That's right boys and girls, it's time for 'Die Hard'!
In Los Angeles, a Christmas party is held on the 30th floor of the Nakatomi Plaza office building. While the party is going on, downstairs, a group of German terrorists arrive and take the entire building hostage including its employees and attempts a huge robbery of over $600 million in bonds from the building's high tech vault. The only one who eludes capture is New York City Cop John McClane who launches a one man war in an attempt to stop the terrorists and save all hostages, including his wife Holly.
What takes place in just over 2 hours of film is such a great, textbook example of no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-wall dumb but fun violent action ever put on film. John McClane (Bruce Willis) slowly but violently works his way through around 30 bad guys (Really bad guys too. They have no redeeming features. Plus, they are those dirty foreign types too!).
It's not the kind of film you watch with your mum, but if you are looking for a film for having a few drinks with your friends, and want to end up yelling and cheering at the screen, then this is the film for you.
VERDICT - YIPPEE KIY YAY MOTHERF*%±ER!
Anyway, on with the review. It's 1989, and all the kids in the playground are yelling 'Yippie Kiy Yay!'. That's right boys and girls, it's time for 'Die Hard'!
In Los Angeles, a Christmas party is held on the 30th floor of the Nakatomi Plaza office building. While the party is going on, downstairs, a group of German terrorists arrive and take the entire building hostage including its employees and attempts a huge robbery of over $600 million in bonds from the building's high tech vault. The only one who eludes capture is New York City Cop John McClane who launches a one man war in an attempt to stop the terrorists and save all hostages, including his wife Holly.
What takes place in just over 2 hours of film is such a great, textbook example of no-holds-barred, balls-to-the-wall dumb but fun violent action ever put on film. John McClane (Bruce Willis) slowly but violently works his way through around 30 bad guys (Really bad guys too. They have no redeeming features. Plus, they are those dirty foreign types too!).
It's not the kind of film you watch with your mum, but if you are looking for a film for having a few drinks with your friends, and want to end up yelling and cheering at the screen, then this is the film for you.
VERDICT - YIPPEE KIY YAY MOTHERF*%±ER!
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